[GinTama the anime is entering its final chapter!]
["Entering the Final Chapter!"]
[Odd Jobs Gin]
Well, it looks like the GinTama anime is finally entering its final chapter.
I never expected this to happen in the middle of the third year.
Lately, JUMP anime just drag on and on, and when they end,
it's like "Our battle has only just begun."
[Note: Refers to D. Grayman, which ended like that.]
D. [bleep]man was just like that.
Well, It's unfortunate that the GinTama anime is ending,
but let's do our best until the very end!
All right!
So how long do we have?
Huh?
How many episodes is the final chapter? When is the final episode?
Oh, well...
What? It hasn't been decided yet?
What? What's the big idea?
Well, how should I put this? Umm...
the final episode is...in about half a year from now.
What?!
We're half a year from the final episode?! How long is this final chapter?!
That's enough for about two seasons of a late night anime!
[Note: Three months is the usual length for one season of late night anime.]
Is it that the type of thing they've been pulling in TV dramas lately-
that scam, where they keep saying they're going to end?
When you look at the TV schedule, you think it's going to be the final episode.
But when you watch it, it's not the final episode at all.
It's the first half of the last chapter,
or the second part of the final chapter,
or the conclusion of the final chapter.
Is it that ploy where it keeps dragging on and on?
Well, umm, that's right...
The third year of this anime is getting kind of dull,
so I thought we should get a little enthusiastic.
Aww... I don't feel like doing anything anymore.
You said it was the final chapter, so I was getting excited.
Hey, you two...
Let's end for today.
Yeah.
What? No way!
Anyway, GinTama is over for today.
See you next week, uh-huh.
[Preview]
Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What should I do?
Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What should I write in a l-l-letter?!
What are you getting all flustered about, Shinpachi?
Just leave this to me!
The next episode... "Some Things Can Only Be Conveyed Through the Written Word."
Next is the King Kong twosome. Thanks.
[NOTE: King Kong is a Japanese standup comedy team.]
H-Hey!
It's only been six and a half minutes since we started!
Shut up. We've already done the ending credits and the preview.
We can call it a day, can't we?
If we end here, it'll be dead air!
No, we've shown only this background since we started. It's already like dead air.
Still...
Anyway, GinTama is over for today.
Everyone, we won't do anything even if you keep watching!
Next is the King Kong twosome. Thanks.
No, no, no, no, no, no. This is bad. Our superiors will be furious.
They're already mad at us for a lot of other things.
The producer has already written several apologies this year.
Mu-san was moved to a different department, too.
[Note: Mu-san is now the producer of an Ad agency.]
We can just write another apology.
We can't do that.
If I say it's over, it's over.
After this, watch [bleep] until Konkon Hills starts.
[Note: Bleep covers Nintama Rantaro, a ninja anime for little kids. Kinkon Hills is a Japanese variety show.]
Next is the King Kong twosome. Thanks.
I'm sorry! This is my fault!
Let's do this properly. Okay? Okay? Okay?
Oh well. Let's fill up the time.
Phew...
Thank goodness.
But I don't feel like doing anything anymore.
For times like this, we'll do that thing with that thing like we always do.
Oh. If we do that thing with that thing, they'll all do that thing.
I-I feel a sense of déjà vu...
Anyway, we're going to a commercial break.
We'll be dragging on like this even after the commercial break.
Anyway, we could have ended the episode with thirty minutes of only that background,
but we were told we couldn't do that.
So we're going to make due with a mish-mash recap.
All right, Shinpachi, you can start us off by looking back on the GinTama anime.
Well, if you're talking about GinTama, there's one episode that you've got to mention.
Back then, I...
The land of samurai. The time when our country...
Hey! Why do you have to start all the way back there?!
Well, this is the fateful episode where we met.
Last year's recap episode started from there!
We don't need that.
Let's go to my first appearance, next...
We already did that, too!
Reminisce about other things!
But when I try to look back on GinTama and take a look at the list of titles...
["Nobody With Naturally Wavy Hair Can Be That Bad"]
["You Only Gotta Wash Under Your Armpits, Just the Armpits"]
It's difficult to remember anything because a lot of the titles
["Watch Out for Conveyor Belts"]
make it impossible to tell what the episode was about.
["You Know What Happens if You Pee on a Worm"]
["Do Cherries Come from Cherry Trees?"]
That's right.
["A Dog's Paws Smell Fragrant"]
The episode I first appeared in was
["The Manga Writer Becomes a Pro. After Doing a Stock of Manuscripts"]
"Watch Out! Weekly Shonen Jump Sometimes Comes Out on Saturdays!"
["Watch Out! Weekly Shonen Jump Sometimes Comes Out on Saturdays!"]
What's that supposed to mean?
Oh, I think that's just being considerate.
Oh well. Then let's decide on a theme and reminisce.
For example: Gin-san's top ten touching lines,
or the top ten battles where Gin-san looked cool.
Wait, why are they all about you, Gin-san?
Then why don't we do the top ten episodes that received
the most complaints from the viewers?
We can't do that!
Oh yeah. Why don't we say that we're going to reveal all of the unaired scenes
and air them without the bleeps?
In that case, we should remove the scrambled parts, too.
We'll be immediately cancelled!
Anyway, it's difficult to make a recap about GinTama
because there isn't a continuous storyline and the main character doesn't have a goal.
For example, searching for seven balls that grant wishes,
[Note: Parody of Dragon Ball and ONE PIECE.]
or trying to become the pirate king...
We did that a month ago.
Oh...
Don't say "Oh." What are we going to do? This is not even a recap.
If we don't cut it out, management will be furious again.
Really?!
I'm serious. This time, they're going to haul another person away.
What?!
This is an official police bust!!
What's your problem?
Prince of Planet Mayo Maniac, why are you here, mayo?
We got word there was a suspicious secret discussion going on here, mayo...
I didn't mean to say "mayo"! What in the world were you doing?!
If you don't confess, I'll haul you in!
I won't tell you, mayo!
Anyway, who do you think you are, barging into someone's house, mayo?!
Stop with the "mayo"!
So what were you all talking about, mayo?
Well, the GinTama anime is finally entering its final chapter,
so we thought we'd drum up some interest by looking back on our past episodes.
Tsk. Is that all? A recap episode, huh?
Don't say, "Is that all?"
We need it to help keep GinTama going for the remaining six months.
There are lots of things we need to preserve.
If we don't reminisce on cool scenes and beautify them in our memories,
we won't last six months.
Hmm... Cool scenes, huh?
["Make Friends You Can Call by Their Nicknames, Even When You're an Old Fart"]
He's finally exposed himself...
Yamazaki.
Yes!
Track down their base, at all cost.
Sir!
With all the Amanto in the world now,
even the hero of the Amanto war is just another criminal.
It takes real guts to still be fighting the Amanto these days.
Hey, Okita, wake up.
I'm surprised that you could sleep through that explosion.
Explosion? Did you let the terrorists attack again?
What's your problem, Hijikata-san? You need to apply yourself.
You wanna sleep permanently?
They can blow up all the Amanto for all I care.
I'll let those fishies swim for a bit before I'll reel 'em in, line 'em up and cut their necks.
It'll be a proud moment for the Shinsengumi. I'm looking forward to this fight.
Hey, that was the episode when you first appeared!
Ahem...
Then shall we look back on Kondo-san next?
No, we don't really need to look back on Kondo-san.
No one wants to see that. Our ratings will drop.
No, no. Right now, I'm a gorilla-like character,
but I was cool when I first appeared.
["There Is Butt a Fine Line Between Persistence and Stubbornness"]
It's not gonna happen... Besides, my butt hair is too thick.
There's no way a girl would go out with me.
I'm no good.
That's not true. You're just very manly! And that's attractive, isn't it?
Then let me ask you this... If your boyfriend's...
rear end looked like an afro with a part down the middle, what would you do?
I would love him, butt afro and all.
What a goddess!
She purifies unclean things just like a Bodhisattva.
Butt-butt-butt-but will you marry me!
Huh?!
[Otae-san]
[Otae-san, go out with me for a hump.]
[Otae-san, marry me.]
Otae-san!! Marry me!!
I'm not the kind of man who takes "No" for an answer twice!
My mom says women find more happiness in being loved than in loving someone!
Otae-san!
Won't you just show your angelic face at least?!
Otae-san!!
Right?! Right?!
Otae-san!
Kondo-san, you seem to be mistaken...
You've been nothing but a pathetic stalker-gorilla since you first appeared!
In order to avenge Kondo-san...
Our Vice-Chief fought you once again, mayo... Mayo...
["Fighting Should Be Done with Fists"]
What's the big idea?!
He may be a gorilla, but to us, he's our beloved general!
He built the Shinsengumi up from nothing with just one sword.
He's my brother-in-arms!
I won't let anyone shame our unit...and who so ever crosses that line, my blade...
...shall taste
his blood!
Got him!
What?!
Parried! He got me.
Thus, Hijikata-san miserably lost, mayo.
Stop talking like that! It's annoying!
Gin-chan really does steal the cool scenes.
But this isn't the only grudge between the Shinsengumi and the Odd Jobs, mayo.
Huh? Did something happen?
Oh! That episode where Otae-san and I were united!
There is no such episode.
There was an episode where the Odd Jobs had a full-scale battle!
["Even if You Aren't Drunk, Pretend You Are and Steal Your Boss's Toupee"]
Here you go, a bento box lunch.
Sorry for barging in on a family outing.
That's all right.
It wouldn't be any fun viewing the cherry blossoms with just the two of us.
Right, Shin-chan?
When our father was still alive,
the three of us used to party like crazy under the cherry trees.
Now, eat up.
Well then, I'll dig in.
What the heck is this-a sculpture?
I can only make omelets.
This isn't an omelet. This is a burnt egg.
No matter what state it's in, as long as the egg is cooked, it's an omelet.
No, it's not. This isn't an omelet. It's an innocent, abused egg.
You're a man, so shut up and just eat it!!
If I don't eat this, I'll die. If I eat this, I'll die.
You don't need to convince yourself to eat it!!
Don't eat it. Your eyes will go bad like mine.
You guys really are pitiful.
C'mon, give it to me... I'll eat it.
Just scoop some into this Tupperware container.
Why are you sitting here as if you're a regular customer, you gorilla!
What rock did you crawl out from under?!
Whoa. Geez, is that stalker still after her?
Maybe you should talk to the town magistrate.
No, apparently he's a police officer.
It's the end of the world...
Sorry about that...
Uh-oh. What do all you ugly guys want with us?
Are you hunting for mushrooms?
Move out of our spot.
That's a special spot the Shinsengumi
uses for cherry blossom viewing every year.
What kind of excuse is that?
Every spot is the same. What are you, the 24-hour police thugs?!
It's not the same! The cherry blossoms look extra special from there!
Isn't that right, guys?
Well, I don't really care so long as I can get smashed.
I don't mind if we sit on the asphalt or wherever.
Even sitting on asphalt, I can get in the flower-watching mood if I have a drink.
Shut up!! I actually couldn't care less either.
But I don't like the fact that we have to move because of this jerk!
Anyway, we sent Yamazaki to save our spot, didn't we?
Where did he go?
He's playing badminton.
Yamazaki!!
Well, anyway, that's the case.
We use this spot every year, so just move.
We want everyone besides Otae-san to leave.
No, Otae-san leaves with you.
No, Otae-san stays.
Who the hell do you schmucks think you are, ordering us around?
If you want to do something about us, then bring a bulldozer.
Bring a dozen cartons of Bäagen-Dash.
Bring some fried chicken.
You move pretty easily, don't you?
Oh that's rich...talking back to the bakufu government, eh?
It looks like we'll be watching blood swirl, instead of cherry blossoms.
It looks like we're destined to do this every year.
I'm going to pay you back for what you did last time!
Hold it!
We can't have you guys sword fighting out in the open
with innocent civilians nearby.
Let's settle this in a Cherry Blossom spirit.
The First Annual... Mallet and Helmet-style rock paper scissors contest!!
That has nothing to do with cherry blossom viewing!!
[Mallet and Helmet-style Rock Paper Scissors]
[You need: a helmet, a toy hammer]
Let me explain. In Mallet and Helmet rock paper scissors...
You play one round of rock paper scissors...
The winner gets to hit the loser.
The loser is safe if he blocks it with his helmet,
but the winner wins the game if he gets a hit in.
Anyway, it's something like that. It's a wild and aggressive game.
Go, Chief!
Die, Vice-Chief!
Who just told me to die?! Seppuku for you, damn it!
Umm... This challenge will be decided by...
three representatives from each side.
To be fair, Shinpachi-kun and I, Yamazaki, will be the judges.
The winner wins the right to view cherry blossoms from here and gets Otae-san.
What kind of rules are those?! What are you, kidnappers?!
We don't gain anything by winning or losing.
Then we'll give you a Shinsengumi sausage.
It was in the headquarters' refrigerator.
In other words, it's just an ordinary sausage! We don't need that!!
A sausage, he says. Let's go for it.
All right.
Idiots!! You guys are total idiots!!
[Round One: Chief Kondo vs Otae-san]
Let's begin the first round! Chief Kondo versus Otae!
Sis, don't push yourself. I'll take your place.
No, there's no honor in this unless I do it myself.
That man keeps popping up no matter how many times I crush him.
I'm sick of it...
I'm going to end to it right here and now.
This is bad. That look in her eyes...
Well then...
Get ready to play...
Rock, paper...
Scissors!!
Whew, I'm safe!!
You're not safe! Run away, Kondo-san!
Huh?
Spirits of heaven and hell, give me strength!
Huh? Huh?
Use me as an instrument of divine judgment!!
Hey, Otae-san, I already have the helmet on...
That's not in...the rules.
[That's not in...the rules]
Chief!
What the hell did you do, you evil wench?!
Oh... So you want to fight, too?
We're very sorry.
Shinpachi-kun, you have it rough, don't you?
I'm used to it.
Umm... The Chief is unable to continue,
so the first round is a draw.
For the second round,
both contestants please try to at least follow the rules...
Whoa!
They've already started!
They're fast!! They're super fast!!
They're so fast it looks like they both have a hammer and a helmet.
Oh? She's evenly matched against Sogo?
Who is that girl?
Sogo's got no brains,
but he's got the strongest sword arm in the Shinsengumi.
Evenly matched?
You think a human can stand up to Kagura?
She's a member of the nearly extinct race of warriors,
the Yato clan. She's amazing.
What? Well, our Sogo...
Well, our Kagura...
Hey, knock it off!
You sound ridiculous-like little kids bragging "my daddy is a pilot"!!
Never mind that. Did you guys start drinking already?!
Huh? Our round started already. Okay, next up tequila.
Bring it on.
Man, they're in their own world with that drinking contest.
Wow. The battle on this side has become ever fiercer.
Huh? Wait a minute...
Both of them are clearly wearing a helmet.
And they don't have hammers.
They're not even playing rock paper scissors.
They're just beating the crap out of each other!!
I told you to follow the rules!!
This is so out of control.
Oh well. We have to decide this with the final showdown.
Gin-sa...
Hey! What are you doing? You two can't fight like this!
Don't worry. I can still do this. Let's settle this...
Bring it on, damn it!
It would be boring to settle things normally.
Why don't we play some "Cut and Parry-style
rock-paper scissors" using real swords?
Bring it on, damn it!
"Bring it on" is all you've been saying.
I feel weird asking you this, but are you all right?
Bring it on, damn it!!
Yamazaki, give him a sword!!
Huh?
Sure! Sure!
You shouldn't have given him a sword.
Huh?! But...
Let's do this!
Bring it on, damn it!
Ready?
Cut and parry-style rock paper...
Scissors!!
I win!!
Don't worry. I used the back of my sword.
Well, I hope you've learned your lesson-don't mess with me.
Hey you! You throw "rock" every time!
Are you trying to make a fool of me?!
What's wrong? You aren't saying anything.
Are you trying to make a fool of me, huh?!
We both have pretty strange bosses.
Yeah...
Father, cherry blossoms are really best when viewed with a large group.
This is the most fun I've had viewing cherry blossoms
since you passed away.
Come on, Shin-chan...
Oh, that's umm...
Huh? Where am I?
And so, we managed to fill up thirty minutes of time.
Well, it really was just a recap episode.
Will the producer have to write another apology?
It's all right. This happens a lot with [bleep] as well.
[Note: Bleep covers Code Geass.]
It's Sunrise's usual problematic pattern.
Well, anyway, we'll finally be entering the final chapter next week!
We still have half a year, so let's not exert ourselves and drag it on.
We might extend into our fourth year!
That won't happen.
Oh, we forgot the cast credits.
[So anyway, we'd like to drag on until the final episode.]
[Also, we won't be doing these crappy recaps or whatever anymore.]